Olivia, you idiot, you just saw it! A mortifying, if overdue, introduction to sex. Here are some awkward stories. I had an unconventional upbringing by virtue of the fact that my parents never got divorced and had me very, very late in their marriage. It was a small price to play to be allowed to watch the rest of the film.
I realise now, in my old age, that the sexual scenes in this movie are pretty tame. When I was watching Sesame Street, my sisters were going out partying, and when I was in Kindergarten, my oldest sister was getting married. Here are some awkward stories. So they dusted off their old VHS, popped it in their tiny kitchen TV, and for a brief moment in time, we were generation-less: I say all this to explain that I was exposed to a lot of mature content at an early age. Olivia, you idiot, you just saw it! And, of course, we have our parents watching over us, which only heightens the chances for a completely awkward moments in which we come face-to-face with what sex actually entails. They looked delighted that I finally watched a movie they could relate to and gush about. My parents were pretty strict about what kinds of movies my younger brother and I were allowed to watch, and R-rated movies were strictly off-limits. This meant that I grew up in a house surrounded by adults and teens. Our parents walking into a room right when an actress takes off her top? And for years, up into my teens, I would awkwardly fast forward through those scenes when I watched the film on my own. I was, if nothing else, an annoyingly good girl. One of our parents taking us to a movie not knowing what actually happens in it? A hand pressed against the glass amid sounds of ecstasy. You knew this was coming! Julia Roberts was so pretty, Richard Gere was so rich, and the story was just like a fairy tale. My sisters were all in high school when I was born. My family delicately explained that Vivian went on dates with men for money, but when it came time for the blow job scene, or the piano scene, or any of the soft core, nudity-less sex scenes, my mum and sisters covered my eyes and ears. It still makes me feel so uncomfortable to think about it. Unfortunately, this happens usually in our teenage years, when our bodies are complete messes and our brains are mushy. I had an unconventional upbringing by virtue of the fact that my parents never got divorced and had me very, very late in their marriage. About eight years later, as a year-old, I had the most uncomfortable movie-going experience of my life with my mother, who took me to see Election despite my efforts to get her to go see Notting Hill on her own, which was playing in the same theatre. It was a small price to play to be allowed to watch the rest of the film. I could never eat an animal cracker in the presence of my grandparents ever again. A mortifying, if overdue, introduction to sex. I pitched Titanic as a film of great historical importance and my parents bought into it to such a degree that they decided to bring my grandmother, who was born six years after the Titanic sank, along with us.
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